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My wife and I had briefly met the artist when we bought the painting of the cat and the signatures made me think of the pretty, middle-aged artist. I couldn't even begin to say why, but thinking of the artist's pretty face made me realize that I was sore between my legs.The feeling between my legs was unmistakable, and I only knew of two ways to end up with that feeling. You might end up with this sensation if you forced yourself to masturbate a couple times too many in one sitting, and you will definitely end up feeling this way if you forced yourself to have marathon sex. The previous day's conversation with Bruce raced through my mind, and I suddenly realized that somebody had to have been fucking with my head.As near as I could tell, I had two problems. First, I had no evidence or memory of sexual overload, and second, I had somehow managed to wake, shower, and eat breakfast without realizing what my body was feeling. I don't do drugs, and I hadn't been drinking. Somebody had. . a gelding, in fact!”“No, no, no,” President Trump replies, “she’s definitely a mare.”“Mr President, I assure you this is most definitely a stallion, sans a few bit of anatomy. Why are you sure it’s a mare?”“Well, when I was riding down the final straight all alone, I saw a kid in the crowd point in my direction and call out ‘Hey Dad, check out the big cunt on this horse’.”At a G8 summit, after a pretty contentious set of meetings, Presidents Trump and Putin go for a walk in the nearby woods to see if they can come to a personal agreement on the issues. As they’re walking along the path Jesus appears in front of them.They’re even more surprised when he says to them, “Gentlemen, you need to try harder to resolve your differences. Anything is possible if you put your minds to it.”The both vocally disagree, saying resolution is impossible, to which Jesus replies, “Look, I’ll prove anything’s possible to you!”“How!” they chorus.“Follow me.” Jesus leads them to a nearby wide, fast-flowing.
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